First, Bad things to do to irritate the crap out of your co-workers. Then to balance things out, How to be a Good boss.
Enjoy:
Dumb Little Man - tips for life |  |
10 Ways to Make Your Colleagues Hate You
Posted: 09 Oct 2008 10:51 AM CDT
 | Written on 10/09/2008 by Ali Hale. Ali runs Alpha Student, a blog packed with academic, financial and practical tips to help students get the most out of their time at university. | Photo Credit: bru76 |
If you’re an employee, chances are that you have colleagues. If you want to progress at work, you’ll find that being popular in the office helps - hate to say it, but it's true. Whether or not you enjoy playing the office politics game, you might need to at least be likable in order to win that big project, promotion or pay rise.Can you do it? Can you show a little dedication, hard work, commitment and the painful to read “can do” attitude. I will tell you, it's not easy. The simpleton's approach would be to simply get colleagues hate you so much they’ll do anything to get rid of you.
So, if you are looking to get ahead - avoid these like the plaque. If you are looking for an early termination and perhaps some severance pay, here's your to-do list.
- Backstab
There’s no surer way to get someone to hate you than to stab them in the back. One of your colleagues confesses that they’ve been sending a few personal emails on company time? Tell the boss. A workmate begs for you to help on a project that they’ve screwed up? Look sincere when you say you don’t have time – then go straight to their manager. - Be a “Jobsworth”
While you’re busy backstabbing, make it clear that you’re never willing to do more than your job is worth. If someone asks you to do anything slightly outside your remit, wave your job description in their face. Better yet, memorize it so that you can quote it word-for-word whenever necessary. - Clock-watch
Part of being a jobsworth means sticking to your exact contracted hours. Start shutting down your PC at 4.55 so you can make a clean getaway at 5. Don’t ever put in ten minutes just to finish off that last task. Some idiot is staying late to finish a vital presentation? Well, if he wants those finished slides from you, he should’ve asked earlier. - Clown Around
While your colleague is panicking over his presentation, lighten up the mood in your office by joking around. Hide his favorite mug, unplug his keyboard when he’s out of the room, log onto his Facebook account to set a silly status message. If you’re really good, you’ll be able to make him loath you whilst maintaining your goofy grin. - Delegate Badly
Of course, all that messing around doesn’t leave much time for actual work – so you’ll need to do some delegating. Handing out tasks as badly as possible is a sure-fire way to win the hatred of your subordinates. How about giving them a mammoth project at 4.45 in the afternoon? Or dumping a load of papers on their desk without any instructions? - Expect Special Privileges
Never forget that to be truly hated, you need to set yourself a peg above everyone else. Show that you expect to be treated as someone special. Chew out colleagues who check personal email during the workday – but make sure you spend as much time as possible on Facebook and Digg. Insist that you’re too busy to ever make anyone else a coffee – but sulk if they don’t include you in every round. - Slack off
Not doing your job is a simple way to breed a simmering hatred amongst your colleagues. One of the special privileges you deserve is to have as much “me time” as possible during the working day. Make it your goal to spend an entire eight hour day reading blogs (especially this one). Don’t bother replying to any emails, especially ones with the “URGENT” flag – they’re bound to be boring and blown out of proportion. - Tease and bully
To reinforce your superiority, make sure you find someone to pick on. Whether it’s the fat guy, the geek, or the girl with a funny accent, make sure you find something sarcastic and oh-so-witty to say to them every day. Bonus points if you hide their stapler, “accidentally” spill coffee on their shirt just before a big meeting, or spread rumors about them. Just imagine you’re back at high school and you’ll get the idea. - Throw a tantrum
Whenever something goes wrong at work, throw a tantrum. It’s always someone’s fault (and never yours). Shout, scream, point a finger, threaten to get people fired, and make sure everyone can see you’ve completely lost it. Bonus points if your freak out results in broken office furniture. Your workmates will not only hate you, they’ll lose any respect they ever had for you, your family, your dog, etc. - Whine constantly
If all that shouting has given you a sore throat, complain about it. Better yet, whine about every little thing that goes wrong in your personal or work life. Traffic was bad? Make sure everyone knows what an awful commute you had. You’ve got a lot of work to do? Instead of getting on with it, sit there and complain to everyone how stressed you’re feeling. With a bit of practice, you can turn any minor annoyance into a half-hour rant. I know you can do it!
Ali
Steve Jobs' 10 Secrets to Building a Huge Empire
Posted: 09 Oct 2008 06:57 AM CDT
 | Written on 10/09/2008 by Manish Pandey. Manish is a tech-enthusiast and blogs about social media and technology at manishpandey.com. | Photo Credit: wikipedia |
Steve Paul Jobs was born on February 24th, 1955. He is known to be the Chairman, co-founder as well as the CEO of the Apple Inc. He was also the former CEO of well known Pixar Animation Studios. He was also represented among the Board of Directors of the Walt Disney Company. Not bad!He completed his studies in California and later he did his frequent after-school lectures in Palo Alto at the Hewlett Packard Company. In a few months time, he was hired in the same place and from there his career started to accelerate. The great personality exhibited by Steve Jobs was told and appreciated far and wide. He was referred to as one of Silicon Valley’s leading egomaniac by Fortune Magazine.
It was in the year 1976 when he founded the company he named Apple Inc. Presently, Jobs is referred to as the single largest shareholder in the Walt Disney Company and also one among its Board of Directors. His presence and appreciation in both the computer as well as entertainment field is remarkable.
With his fame, he is well known for whatever came out from his mouth and was thus noted to be quoted. In casual conversation, Steve Jobs seems to come up with earthmoving quotes. The mastery of this is that most of his quotes can be applied to the the jobs we all have, the careers we all seek, and the lives we all want to lead.
Let's take a look at some of the great quotes of this modern day tech and media leader.
- To Build up Confidence
“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, so every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know?"
Steve Jobs is confident in whatever decisions he makes and he talks about what has taken him to great heights. He also insists all of us to be good to the heart as our lives are short and death can arrive at any time. - On Confidence and Creativity
“That happens more than you think, because this is not just engineering and science. There is art, too. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of these crises, you’re not sure you’re going to make it to the other end. But we’ve always made it, and so we have a certain degree of confidence, although sometimes you wonder."
People are terrified at times. However, those that make choices based on real criteria, regardless of the conceptual nature of them, can confidently stand behind them and are able to shake off the uncertainties that arise. - On the Experience as a User
“Our DNA is as a consumer company – for that individual customer who’s voting thumbs up or thumbs down. That’s who we think about. And we think that our job is to take responsibility for the complete user experience. And if it’s not up to the par, it’s our fault, plain and simple."
User satisfaction is not just for business owners. Your boss could be considered as a user of your output. By mastering your trade and ensuring a complete and accurate output (albeit a report, a design, an article, etc.), your 'users' will be happy and reward you with continued business. - On Focus
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”
The real meaning of focus is not the simple yes. Instead, it is all about the ideas which are imparted by picking and sorting the best out. Careful detection and estimation of your plans and the ideas and strategies taken to implement them are what Steve Jobs is talking about. - On Passion
“When I hire somebody really senior, competence is the ante; they have to be really smart. But the real issue for me is, are they going to fall in love with Apple? Because if they in love with Apple, everything else will take care of itself.”
This comes down to passion. When you have passion for what you do, good results and dedication are sure follow. Identifying your passion is difficult but once there, work is no longer work. As a worker, find and live your passion. As an employer, get employees to really see the vision and their role in taking the company there. - On Leadership Qualities
“So when a good idea comes, you know, part of my job is to move it around, just see what different people think, get people talking about it, argue with people about it, get ideas moving among that group of 100 people, get different people together to explore different aspects of it quietly, and, you know – just explore things."
Cisco Systems had a great motto at one point that read, "We are stronger together than we'll ever be apart." Many times, good ideas are made great by seeking input from others. By surrounding yourself with people that you'd admit are smarter than you, greatness has a chance. - On Product Tactics
“It’s not about pop culture, and it’s not about fooling people, and it’s not about convincing people that they want something they don’t. We figure out what we want. And I think we’re pretty good at having the right discipline to think through whether a lot of other people are going to want it, too. That’s what we get paid to do.”
This is about legitimacy. Getting paid is great but executing on a long term vision based on demand is a true art. - On Succession Planning
“I mean, some people say, ‘Oh God, if [Jobs] got run over by a bus, Apple would be in trouble.’ And, you know, I think it wouldn’t be a party, but there are really capable people at Apple. My job is to make the whole executive team good enough to be successors, so that’s what I try to do.”
The real work of a CEO is to lay pipe (sort of speak). A good CEO is laying the groundwork for an organization to succeed on its own - today and tomorrow. Much of this has to do not only with the people that surround you, but letting go of the ego. - On LayOffs
“We’ve had one of these before, when the dot-com bubble burst. What I told our company was that we were just going to invest our way through the downturn, that we weren’t going to lay off people, that we’d taken a tremendous amount of efforts to get them into Apple in the first place – the last thing we were going to do is lay them off.”
When you make a concrete effort to only hire the best employees, releasing them may cost more than keeping them around. Sure. Unproductive employees need to go but mass layoffs versus a strategic realignment that moves expertise, is a clear alternative. Choices like this, short term gain versus long term impairment, are critical ones to make. - On the job of Recruiting
“Recruiting is hard. It’s just finding the needles in the haystack. You can’t know enough in a one-hour interview. So, in the end, it’s ultimately based on your gut. How do I feel about this person? What are they like when challenged? I ask everybody that: ‘Why are you here?’ The answer isn't very important, it’s the meta-data."
The recruiting job is tough indeed and not as easy as you'd think. If you, as a hirer, get to someone's core, you have a chance at understanding them. This is what Steve Jobs would love to say about the entire process of hiring people for work. He also finds it similar to looking out for the needles in the haystack which is simply as impossible as it should be.
Manish
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