Not a Shy Guy Anymore

I used to be a little shy when I was a kid. I had my circles of friends from the neighborhood, from school, from scouting, etc. But I wasn't the life of the party, even though I had a great sense of humor.

Later in life, I found myself on stage in front of about 1200 high school students representing the radio station I worked for and I had to talk. I was scared.

A few days later, same thing. Another school, hundreds of students and me on stage.

And then it hit me.

I had already done this. And I could do it again. And I lost my fear of public speaking at the age of 21.

Maybe it's not that you want to be a public speaker, but you just need to get out and meet people and have fun. As I was checking my email this afternoon before heading home, I saw this great article from the DLM blog that may change your life:

Dumb Little Man - tips for life

How to Build Your Social Circle Posted: 02 Apr 2009 06:26 AM PDT They say it's not what you know but who you know, and when it comes to getting the most out of life and having fun, I think friends play a huge part in that. If I think back to some of the happiest and craziest moments in my life, there's no doubt that they involved some of my closest friends. I've already written a guide on how to make friends and being a social person is obviously going to help with this aspect of your life. Additionally, these five points below should definitely help you in the process of growing your social circle. Adopt an Abundance Mentality One key reason people struggle to make great friends or build a social circle is because they are coming from a scarcity mindset. They don't realize that there are literally billions of potential friends out there and lots of people that you are going to meet on your journey through life. Knowing that there are lots of opportunities to make friends, you should realize that you don't have to 'change' to get other people to like you. In other words, don't lie about your interests and don't agree with things you disagree with. Be yourself, be your best self. Actively Pursue Your Passions Think of some things that you really enjoy doing right now, off the top of your head. To help, some of mine include: Public speaking Going to nightclubs Personal development DJing / Making music Once you know the things that you like to do, you should actively pursue those passions. If you like public speaking then join Toastmasters, if you like making music then sign-up to a college / university course or go online and find other people who like it as well. The point here is that you will find people who like the same things as you, so you already have some common interest which tends to quickly build rapport. Meetup is a great site to find people getting together around topics that may interest you. Organize Events People like to keep in touch with the person who is always throwing cool events. Whether it is a trip to a nearby city, a house party or a day out go-karting, make some plans. You don't have to do all the work, but get people together and put new people in touch with each other. When you do organise some events, it's likely that your friends will also bring their friends that you haven't met, which gives you a great chance to expand your 'network'. Be a Genuinely Fun Person There will be times when you are feeling low and you want to talk about this feeling to others and that's fine, that's normal. However, if that is your default state then it's going to feel draining to others who spend time with you, constantly feeling they are going to be brought down with you. A genuinely fun person tends to keep a positive outlook, see problems as situations or opportunities, rather than problems. Look at ways you can help to make other people happy without relying on your own happiness to come from your environment. This is a geniunely fun person and this is the type of person that people want to be around. Be Open to Making New Friends If I look at some of my best friends, I've met most of them through education (i.e. school, college, etc.) and through my job which seems to be a common thing. However, I've also met people that later became close friends at the likes of running clubs, speaking clubs and even standing in the line for a nightclub. You don't 'just' have to make friends through your current friends and the people they know. You walk past amazing people every single day and you never know when you might come into conversation with someone. Don't assume that just because you're not talking to someone in normal context it doesn't mean you can't arrange to meet up with them at another time. Building a social circle is definitely one of the best ways to get the most out of life in my opinion, and experience more of our time here. Hopefully these tips will help you expand yours. Written on 4/02/2009 by Glen Allsop. Glen writes on the subject of Personal Development at PluginID. His sites main aim is to help people Plug into their Identity, be who they want to be, and live the life they want to live. Photo Credit: crabchick