Carving the Bird

Yesterday I featured a post from the Art of Manliness on how to carve a turkey. Today, we have this:

Manvotional: When Father Carves the Duck by E.V. Wright

Posted: 23 Nov 2008 01:20 AM CST

This funny poem is timely with the Thanksgiving holiday. While it’s about carving a duck, it’s just as applicable to carving a turkey. Don’t be like the hapless dad in this poem. Learn how to carve a turkey correctly before Thanksgiving.

We all look on with anxious eyes
When father carves the duck,
And mother almost always sighs
When father carves the duck;
And all of us prepare to rise
And hold our bibs before our eyes,
And be prepared for some surprise,
When father carves the duck.

He braces up and grabs a fork
Whene’er he carves a duck,
And won’t allow a soul to talk
Until he’s carved the duck,
The fork is jabbed into the sides,
While every careful person hides
From flying chips of duck.

The platter’s always sure to slip
When father carves a duck,
And how it makes the dishes skip!
Potatoes fly amuck!
The squash and cabbage leap in space,
We get some gravy in our face,
And father mutters Hindu grace
Whene’er he carves a duck.

We then have learned to walk around
The dining room and pluck
From off the window-sills and walls
Our share of father’s duck,
While father growls and blows and jaws
And swears the knife was full of flaws,
And mother laughs at him because
He couldn’t carve a duck.