Showing posts with label giving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label giving. Show all posts

Monday, August 08, 2011

Give A Little

It used to be that if you were invited to someones home, you brought a gift. AOM wrote about this recently:

A Gentleman Never Arrives Empty-Handed

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Raymond.

It’s a sultry summer night, and you’re on your way to an elegant dinner party given by your boss and his charming wife. You arrive at the appropriate time, impeccably dressed in casual evening wear and greet your hostess with a smile—and nothing more.

Imagine your mortification and horror when you pass a table in the hall loaded with bottles of wine, flower arrangements, gourmet coffee, and other small gifts. You search your brain…is it the host’s anniversary? A birthday? Did someone retire?

Although the party might be a celebration of one of those occasions, it’s far more likely that guests with better manners than you brought thoughtful tokens of appreciation for their hosts.

Like thank you notes, the giving of gifts to your hosts is becoming a lost art. When we do remember to bring a nice little something, it’s invariably a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of wine from the corner liquor store. Really, can’t we do better than that?

Gone may be the days of bringing your hostess lavish crystal or a pair of mourning doves when you arrive at the manor for a weekend stay, but we haven’t become complete savages. Your hosts have expended a great deal of time, effort, and expense to provide you with an evening (or weekend) of food, drink, and entertainment. The least you can do is thank them with an appropriate gift.

Summer is here and with it a bevy of seasonal social obligations: barbeques, picnics, dinner parties, and weekends away. Never arrive at someone’s home without something more to contribute than your personality, as stunning as it might be. Take this opportunity to man up and accept this simple rule: no matter what the occasion, a gentleman never arrives empty-handed.

The Rules of Appropriate Gifting

A hostess gift doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should be thoughtful. Consider the types of activities your hosts enjoy, and gift accordingly. As a general rule, your budget should be around $15 to $30, depending upon the formality of the occasion.

An important rule to remember is that you should never bring anything that makes more work for your hosts. The best example is that of flowers: If you bring a cello-wrapped bouquet, your hostess must stop what she is doing, find a vase, trim the ends from the flowers and greenery, arrange the bouquet, and find a place for it. If you’re giving flowers, be sure to bring a bouquet that is already arranged in a vase.

Likewise, never bring food to add to the menu unless your hostess has specifically requested you do so. If you’d like to bring food or drink as your gift, make sure your hosts understand that the gift is for their enjoyment, and you don’t expect them to share it with their guests.

Give Thoughtfully

Although wine and flowers are traditional hostess gifts and will always be appreciated, why not challenge yourself and come up with something a little more creative? Try one of these suggestions:

  • Gourmet coffee. Always opt for whole bean coffee (if they’re the kind of people who will enjoy coffee as a gift, they’re likely to have their own grinder). Skip the fancy flavors and select a medium brew from a recognized brand, not the mystery bag you find on the shelf at Ross.
  • Fine chocolate. For a gift of chocolate to be a hit, it must be unusual and special. Visit an upscale department store or chocolatier for a small box of exquisite truffles.
  • Posh spices. If you know your hosts enjoy cooking, visit an upscale market or boutique for a selection of interesting peppercorns, cinnamon, or other often-used spices. A set of sea salts will likely be a big hit. You might also consider a small assortment of spices for ethnic food, such as turmeric, saffron, or coriander.
  • Scented candles. Yes, these are overdone, but there’s a reason for that—most everyone enjoys them. Opt for something well-crafted, not a Glade candle from the supermarket. For a host, try a candle with a uniquely masculine scent–like one that smells like a barbershop.
  • Kitchen gadgets. Hosts that frequently entertain will always enjoy adding another tool to their party arsenal, like retro metal cocktail skewers, linen kitchen cloths, or a set of unique coasters.
  • Fresh produce. If you happen to garden, bring a small box of your garden’s bounty, packaged so that it can go straight into the refrigerator. Even if your hosts are carnivores, they’ll delight in your interesting gift. Skip this option if you don’t garden or settle for something simple, like a large basket of succulent road-stand strawberries.

Avoid overly personal gifts, such as perfume, bath products, or articles of clothing. Although etiquette guides disagree, skip the houseplant unless your hostess has a renowned green thumb; otherwise, you put her at risk of worrying if she’ll kill it.

Although it may seem terribly clever, resist the urge to develop a “signature” gift, such as a particular bottle of wine you bring each time you visit. You might think your hosts delight in receiving your special brand of manliness, but in reality, they’re probably chuckling about the fact that you’ve brought the same bottle of poor quality chardonnay to their last three dinner parties.

Let the Gift Match the Occasion

Your hostess gift should reflect the occasion. An elaborate flower arrangement isn’t appropriate for a pool party, just as a six-pack just won’t do for a formal dinner. Consider the tone and nature of the party, and gift accordingly.

Occasions that demand hostess gifts include dinner parties, pool parties, weekend visits, extended stays…basically anytime you’re foisting your presence on someone in their home.

Although Peggy Post, descendent of etiquette doyenne Emily Post, says that it isn’t necessary to bring a gift to a cocktail party or open house, what could it hurt? Who doesn’t want another bottle of premium vodka for their bar? Who would be offended by a simple flower arrangement? It’s far better to err on the side of graciousness and bring a little something, regardless of the occasion.

Wine, Beer & Spirits

All this talk of flowers and scented candles aside, most men prefer to bring liquor to events they attend. Yes, as we’ve mentioned it’s not very unique, but it’s well-received, it’s easier, and it’s something many men feel more comfortable buying and giving. Appropriate to nearly every occasion—except if you’re visiting a “dry” house—alcohol can be a thoughtful hostess gift if you think a little before you purchase it.

Take wine, for example. If your hosts are oenologists, don’t insult them with a bottle of two-buck Chuck. Visit a real liquor store and purchase something in the $20 range, like a nice chardonnay or cabernet sauvignon. Or you could exercise a little creativity and select an interesting sauvignon blanc, viognier, zinfandel (red only, please), muscat or shiraz from a more unusual wine region, like Alexander Valley or Chile. If you are helpless around wine, ask the proprietor for help.

Fine liquor makes for another excellent hostess gift. Unless you know your host has specific tastes in spirits, stick to the basics, like brandy, fine gin, flavored vodka, or top-shelf tequila. Jagermeister, Goldschlager, and flavored schnapps are never acceptable.

You might think that beer isn’t an appropriate hostess gift, but you would be wrong—provided you give it at the right occasion. As previously mentioned, a formal dinner is not the right event for beer, unless, of course, your host is a microbrewery aficionado. In that case, opt for something unique and interesting, like something you’d order from a beer club. For more casual occasions, pick up a six-pack of good beer, like a stout or an IPA.

Giving the Gift with Style

Although it isn’t necessary to stick a bow on your sixer or your wine in a fancy bag, you should take care to present your gift with style. Non-alcohol-related gifts should be wrapped or otherwise artfully presented, with the price tags removed and the store bag left in the car.

When you arrive, don’t thrust the package at your host the moment she opens the door. Say hello, walk inside, and only then present your host with your thoughtful gift. Make certain she knows that she is under no obligation to share; the gift is purely for her amusement and enjoyment.

_________________________________________________________

Raymond is a beer enthusiast and casual blogger. Currently he writes about beer for BeerClubGuide.com, a site that reviews and rates Beer Clubs.

Related posts:

  1. How to Be the Perfect Party Guest
  2. ProFlowers Valentine’s Day Giveaway: Win a $70 Bouquet of Flowers for the Woman In Your Life
  3. How to be the Perfect Houseguest
  4. How to Give Flowers Like a Victorian Gentleman

Friday, January 28, 2011

Living in Real Life too


Before you had a computer and a cellphone, (if you are that old!), you had an off-line life.

In order for you to spend time online, you had to reduce time you spent doing something else.

Do you know what that was, that you used to do, before you started spending time online?

Do you spend less time watching TV?

Do you spend less time talking with your spouse?

Do you spend less time exercising?

Do you even know what you used to do with the time you created to be online?

Please use your time online appropriately.

This means different things to each of us.

If relationships are being neglected, make changes.

If there are other projects that are being neglected, make changes.

One more point on this subject, and it's about giving.

These days, my kids are grown, getting married, making grandkids and doing the things I did 25 years ago.

My wife and I have more freedom with our time than we did years ago. Yes, we both work at least 5 days a week, but without kids we really enjoy being able to pick and choose what to do after hours.

One of the things I do is give of my time. Some of the organizations that I am involved with include the Fort Wayne Central Lions Club, The Anthony Wayne Area Council (Scouting), The Fort Wayne chapter of the American Advertising Federation, The Gus Macker Basketball tournament, The Three Rivers Festival, and a few other events and organizations as they come up.

We also attend a weekly worship service at our church and have launched a couple of businesses.

And just because our kids are in their 20's, doesn't mean we are not involved with them. Between last year and this year, we have 3 weddings, another college graduation, my stepson had a daughter, his third child; and my youngest and her husband are expecting their first child.

Everything that I'm aware of right now with our kids will be over by mid-August, but they will be replaced with new things.

I challenge you to keep a balance in your online and off-line lives, use the online world as a tool, not a replacement for life in the flesh.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Giving

from the DLM Blog:

How to Really Begin Adding Value

Posted: 28 May 2010 07:54 AM PDT


Many of us have been brought up to think that there is only so much to go around and we must grab what we can before other people get our share. But there is another paradigm which insists on the importance of community, emphasizing our interconnectedness and interdependence. In this view, helping others, giving something of ourselves and reaching out are the keys to success and happiness.

Einstein wrote, ‘Only a life lived for others is worth living.’ This idea can sometimes be called adding value. Why is this way of looking at things so valuable?
  1. When you add value, the whole that you produce is greater than the sum of the parts which produced it. Unlike the ‘not enough pie to go round’ paradigm, the adding-value paradigm insists that when you enrich the life of someone else, the pie gets bigger and there is more for us all.

  2. It makes the world a better place for all of us. When you help someone, you add value to their life and you make the world a better place. Whether you’re a teacher who helps a student to pass an exam or encourages him to apply for university, or an author who writes a book that helps thousands of people, you make the world better for all of us, including yourself.

  3. You’re going to get a whole lot in return. This is not the reason for doing it, of course, but it’s a fact – when you give you receive. Maybe not in the way you think, but when you really try to add value with no expectation of reward, the rewards start rolling in. Life is strange like that!

  4. It makes you feel good. Steven Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, speaks about an inner darkness which is created when you live a life without integrity. Living a life of integrity and value is the only way to truly feel good about yourself.

  5. It brings opportunity. If you become known as someone who always helps, always tries to find a solution, you’ll win friends and influence people. There are two kinds of person, my friend (can you guess the movie?), problem people and solution people. Which are you seen as? You future success could depend on being in the right category.
So how do we add value? What can we do to experience this rich and rewarding way of living? Here are some examples of how to make sure you are adding value in every situation as much as you can.
  1. Make sure you know what you can do. What are your skills? What are you good at? These are the tools which will allow you to add value.

  2. Do what you love. When you do the things you love, adding value comes naturally. Look at Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Madonna, or any number of rich and successful people: what do they have in common? They do what they love! And they are successful because they add value naturally.

  3. If you’re not adding value, get out! If you’re in a job where you don’t feel you’re systematically adding something, either you need to change the way you’re doing things, or it’s time to quit. You can do better.

  4. Adding value will guide you to the right job or enterprise. If you have a choice of two or more paths, be they career paths or anything else, always choose the one that allows you to add the most value. This will keep you in alignment with your true purpose in life and will, ultimately, bring you greater happiness and greater reward.

  5. Keep on learning new things and expanding your comfort zone. This is how you learn more skills which will enable you to add more value. Go on a course, do a part time degree, put together a website, write a novel – but do something new.

  6. Don’t be scared to fail. When you do something new, you’ll do it badly and you might even be afraid to do it at all. If and when you do fail, you might not want to go through the experience again. But if you push through that initial failure, pick yourself up and keep going, you’ll start to improve and eventually you’ll be good at what you’re doing.

  7. Encourage other people. Try to get the best out of people – encourage them to be the best they can be. This will inspire them to take their own risks and add their own value to the world.
So there are seven ways of adding value. I could have made a list of ten, twenty or even more. Perhaps you have more ideas?

Written on 5/28/2010 by Mark Harrison. Mark Harrison writes about personal growth, communication, and increasing personal wealth. Check out his new book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life.Photo Credit: Wonderlane

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Love You Give


This is a retailers dream weekend. Valentine's Day falls on a Sunday. Which means it's not just a day, but an entire weekend. My Dad used to publicly declare it as, "another one of those merchant's holidays", but he also knew how important it was to make my Mom feel loved.

Guys, if you blow it today, it is 90% your fault. The best relationships are built around open and honest communication. Valentine's Day didn't just sneak up on you. You knew it was coming, and she did too.

Communication is when you talk ahead of an event to discover what you can do to give love to the other person that is a combination of you, and what speaks the language of love to her.

The other 10% falls on our partners. We need you to be honest with us. Open and honest communication. Don't tell us that Valentines Day isn't important to you and then act all hurt and disappointed because we took you for your word.

One of the ways to show love is to listen. Listen with your ears and with your heart.

This year I learned that my wife would be satisfied with a couple of roses instead of a full dozen, and she asked for me to fix dinner. We also have a coffee shop tradition which we did Saturday morning.

Saturday afternoon I went to our local Fresh Market where they go above and beyond when it comes to flowers. Their price was better than other places too. A dozen for $14.99. Then they re-wrapped them in my choice of color of tissue paper and ribbon so it would look like the $40 or $50 variety from a florist. I gave them to her yesterday afternoon.

The other reason I went to Fresh Market was to pick out the steaks that I am preparing today. The meat department got most of my money yesterday, but it will be worth it when we dine this evening. A couple of specially prepared ribeyes that I learned to cook a couple years ago along with baked potatoes complete with butter and sour cream; corn, and a special salad that I'll prepare. For dessert, we'll share cheesecake, also from Fresh Market.

There will also be an exchange of cards. I picked mine up Saturday, but I've been working on it all week. One of the ideas my wife had was to write in our cards some of the ways our lives have changed because of the other person. So I customized my card for her.

My wife is the oldest girl in a family with 7 siblings. Her "birth order programming" means she cares for and worries about others in her family and circle of friends. Not just kids, step-kids, kid-in-laws, but also siblings and their families.

She has an older brother who lives in Fort Wayne. Mike joined us last night when we were playing euchre and as my card playing brother-in-law partner, we won both games.

Yesterday, my wife surprised me by declaring she wanted to paint one of the walls in our family room, so after our coffee, we went and picked out the paint, bought the supplies and next week, she is planning on painting. Except....

Except, she won't have to.

Because yesterday her brother confided to me that he wanted to surprise her and so while she is at work today, he is painting the wall. That's another expression of Love.

By the time this post appears on this blog, we will be finishing our meal, bellies full, appetites satisfied, taste buds jumping for joy. Laughter will have filled our home another day because of the love that was given.

I hope your weekend is just as satisfying.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

45 things to do if you are too old to play Football

I just watched the Colts beat up the Jets, but I can't play the game.

Here's a few alternatives from the AOM blog:

45 Manly Hobbies

Posted: 06 Jan 2010 01:32 AM PST

Back in the day, leisure time was not thought of as a chance to “veg out,” but as opportunity to pursue one’s passions and interests, an outlet for the sides of a man that were not stimulated in one’s career. Unfortunately, we now often spend our leisure time camped out in front of the TV or computer. We say that modern life has become too stressful, that when we have free time, laying on the couch is all we can manage.

The truth is that spending our leisure time in satisfying pursuits, “fun work,” will refresh us far more than a non-stop marathon of playing Call of Duty. Hobbies can bring you joy, increase your eye for detail, keep your mind sharp, expand your creativity, and help you meet friends and learn valuable skills. They add interest to your life and help you become a more well-rounded man. If you’ve been feeling depressed, restless, or apathetic, the problem may be the lack of having something in your life you feel passionate about, something that brings you needed fulfillment.

We’ve gotten several requests to put together a list of manly hobbies, and we decided that the start of the new year would be a good time to publish such a list. Many of you are thinking about what you’d like to accomplish this year. How about putting “start a new hobby” on your resolution list? Here are 45 hobby ideas; hopefully one will stick out and grab you. But of course there are many more out there as well.

Almost every hobby listed has a corresponding Group in the Art of Manliness Community. So if you have questions about how to get started in the hobby or if you’re already involved and what to talk shop with other enthusiasts, be sure to join in the conversations going on there.

Note: When we talk about “manly” hobbies, we’re defining manly in terms of activities with a manly history or traditions, activities that help you gain manly qualities or just make you feel manly, and activities that are generally enjoyed more often by men than women. If you’re favorite hobby isn’t on the list, don’t get your knickers in a knot. Rest assured, any hobby that you’re passionate about is manly.

Chess

Men have been playing chess for thousands of years in order to fine tune their concentration, critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and problem solving skills. AoM favorite Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay back in the 18th century entitled The Morals of Chess. In it Franklin argued that playing chess created “valuable qualities of the mind, useful in the course of human life, [that] are to be acquired or strengthened by it, so as to become habits, ready for all occasions. For Life is a kind of Chess…” What better way to pass the time with a friend than to play a game that makes you a better man. If you don’t have anyone to play with, check out chess.com where you can play online. And be sure to join the AoM Community Chess Group.

Ham Radio

Looking to be a part of a tight knit community with a focus on radio and communication? Look no further than ham radio. While the internet has taken radio’s place as the dominant form of communication, a vibrant community of amateur radio enthusiasts still exists. Radio hobbyists enjoy communicating directly with people from all over the world while expanding their knowledge of radio theory. In addition, most ham radio operators provide a public service to their communities by acting as relays in the event of emergencies or natural disasters. Radio operation is regulated by the Federal Communications Commission, so you’ll have to be licensed to use a radio. Licensing isn’t difficult at all. You just have to take a multiple choice test that covers basic regulations, operating practices, and electronics theory. And of course you’ll need the equipment. Buying new will set you back a pretty penny, but you can find good deals on used radio equipment on eBay. For more info about getting started with ham radio check out the National Association of Amateur Radio and stop by the AoM Community Group-The Manly Art of Amateur (Ham) Radio.

Reading

Men today just don’t read, but there couldn’t be a manlier hobby. Theodore Roosevelt was a voracious reader and so were most of the great men of history. Reading allows you to connect with the great thinkers and writers of history and exposes you to new ideas, consequently making you a more intelligent and well-rounded man. If you have access to a library card, reading can actually be a completely free hobby. If you need some ideas on what to read, look no further than our awesome reading lists. And you can get even more suggestions on good books and also talk about the books you love in the AoM Community Book Group.

Playing the Guitar

Instead of spending your time playing fake guitar on Guitar Hero, learn how to play the real thing. It’s a skill that will provide you and those around you with years of enjoyment. Oh, and chicks like a guy that can play guitar. Personally, I’ve used my guitar skills to get myself out of the doghouse with Kate by serenading her. And later in life you can gather the family around for some awesome sing alongs. Learning to play any instrument is manly, of course, but guitars have the advantage of being relatively cheap and having an easier learning curve for beginners. There are tons of resources online that provide free guitar lessons. Be sure to stop by the aptly-named AoM Community Group: Guitar=Manly.

Ballroom Dancing

Your grandpa knew how to dance, so why not harness your inner Fred Astaire by taking up ballroom dancing, too? Ballroom dancing can help increase your self-confidence, poise, and posture. It’s also a fun way to get some cardiovascular exercise in. And of course, ladies dig a gent who knows how to dance. Most cities have ballroom dancing studios. Just Google to find the ones near you and then go talk to the instructors to get a feel for their style and check on their credentials. Private classes go for around $50 a pop. If you’re married or have a girlfriend, ballroom dancing is a great date night activity. If you’re a bachelor, ballroom dancing is a great way to meet new women. Join other men with dancing feet in the AoM Ballroom Dancing Community Group.

Woodworking

I’ve always admired men who could take pieces of plain ol’ wood and shape them into something useful and beautiful. They’re the men who make their own Christmas presents instead of buying them and can proudly point to furniture in their house and say, “I made that.” You can be that man by taking up the wonderful hobby of woodworking. In addition to giving you a useful skill, many woodworking hobbyists report lower stress levels and increased patience. When you’re taking a chisel to a piece of wood, it’s easy to enter into a zen-like state. Many technical schools offer woodshop classes. Woodcraft stores also offer classes on woodworking basics for about $50 each. Interested? Be sure to join the AoM Woodworking Community Group.

Gardening

Perhaps one of the most powerful manly images in America is that of the yeoman farmer- he’s the self-reliant man who cultivates his own land to provide for his and his family’s needs. You don’t need a homesteading plot to start getting in touch with the land; a small square in your backyard will suffice. If you have a job that keeps you cooped up in an office all day with artificial light and stale recycled air, gardening is a great hobby to pursue in order to get some exercise, sunlight, and fresh air. As you watch your garden grow from seeds to plants, you’ll find yourself becoming more in tune with the seasons. When you harvest your small crop, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment that beats any high score on a video game. And when you make your first meal with vegetables grown in your very own garden, you’ll feel a surge of manly pride. If you’re looking to get started with gardening, check out this informative and well written article by J.D. Roth of Get Rich Slowly. And be sure to stop by the AoM Community Group: A Man’s Garden.

Classic Car Restoration

In days gone by, men would stay in their garages for hours at a time tinkering with their cars. As cars have become more sophisticated and reliant on computers, home mechanical work is going the way of the dodo bird. However, if you have an itch to become a grease monkey, you can always take up classic car restoration as a hobby. With classic car restoration you’ll learn a bit of engineering, improve your problem solving skills, and experience the sweet feeling of success when the engine you rebuilt purrs like a kitten. Car restoration is an expensive hobby to get into. Not only do you have to buy the car to restore, but you’ll need the tools, space, and custom parts to finish the job. However, the time and money can pay off as fully restored classic cars sell for a pretty penny (even though you probably won’t be willing to part with your baby). For more information about classic car restoration check out Second Chance Garage.

Metalworking

Metalworking has all the benefits of woodworking, except instead of the sweet smell of sawdust, you surround yourself with the delightfully noxious smell of burning metal. My brother-in-law picked up metalworking in high school, and it’s amazing the stuff he can make: cast iron headboards for that room your wife wants to decorate shabby chic, hanging pot plant holders, and garden archways are just a few of the things he can whip up. Your local vo-tech should offer classes on metalworking. Metalworking.com is a great place to find more info. They have a list of local clubs dedicated to metalworking.

Marksmanship

If hunting isn’t your thing, you can still enjoy the pleasure of shooting a gun by taking up a shooting sport and becoming an expert marksman. Marksmanship requires pure concentration and a steady hand. Shooting clubs exist all over the country that emphasize different gun sports. Take your pick among clay pigeon shooting, hand gun and rifle shooting, and even Frontier and Cowboy shooting. Shooting can get expensive. Guns are expensive and the cost of ammo has gone up dramatically due to increased demand. You’ll also need to find a place to fire your weapon safely, so if you don’t have property to do it on, you’ll have to rent some time at a gun range.

If you’re not sure about forking over the dough right away on a real gun, consider getting started with marksmanship with air guns. The basic principles and skills used with real guns are the same with air guns, except you can fire an air gun in your suburban backyard and a round of 100 air gun pellets cost just a dollar or two compared to the $10- $15 you have to drop for real ammo. Check out this informative article on using air guns as an alternative to getting involved with shooting sports (the article addresses the recoil factor).

Collecting

Collecting things is something a lot of men love and most women just don’t get. Females are multi-taskers, while the male brain likes to single-mindedly zero in on something. We tend to get obsessed with things. Take this tendency and couple it with man’s primordial desire for the hunt, and there you have a man’s love for collecting. A man can spend a lifetime looking for that final item to complete his collection. It becomes his obsession. His White Whale if you will. Of course, completing a collection is usually anti-climatic. In collecting, the thrill is in the chase. Pick your poison. Duck stamps, baseball cards, antique typewriters, whatever. Just don’t get too carried away with it.

Camping/Backpacking

Modern man is restless and unhappy because he’s lost touch with the great outdoors. Every man should seek to regularly connect with nature for the sake of both his physical and mental well-being. He needs to break away now and again and sleep out under the stars. Leave your cubicle behind and spend a few days breathing fresh air and sitting around a campfire. In this recession, camping is one of the most economical ways to “get away from it all.” It’s a great way to hone your outdoorsman skills, reconnect with your buddies, and get some alone time with your significant other. We’ve done some articles on camping tips and backpacking tips, and you can also join the Camping Group in the Community.

Ship in a Bottle

It’s the classic old man hobby: putting intricate model ships in a glass bottle. Amaze kids with your ship in a bottle displays! They’ll spend the rest of their childhood trying to figure out exactly how you did it. Placing a ship in a bottle (or impossible bottle) is a task that takes dedicated focus, patience, and a steady hand. You usually build the model ship on the outside of the bottle with the mast down. After you insert the ship into the bottle, you raise the mast with a pair of long forceps. In addition to placing ships into bottles, you can create impossible bottles with other objects like a deck of cards or tennis balls. Find out more about impossible bottles here.

Hunting

For millennia, a man’s role in his family was to provide. For most of human history this was done through tracking down and killing wild animals. The hunt was a way that many cultures and tribes initiated boys into manhood and provided men with an opportunity to bond and connect in a completely male setting. Fast forward to today. The way most men get their meat is wrapped in a piece of paper that says “Big Mac” or packaged in plastic at the grocery store. And usually the meat is injected with hormones and antibiotics. There’s a huge disconnect between man, his food, and nature.

If you’d like to reconnect with the “Circle of Life,” it’s high time you go on a hunt. The benefits of hunting are innumerable, but here’s just a few. First, it gives you a chance to give you and your family a source of quality lean meat free from the antibiotics, hormones (and even ammonia!) that lurk in most factory farmed meat. Second, it gives you a chance to get back in touch with nature. Third, you’ll be supporting wildlife conservation as your dollars spent on hunting licenses and equipment goes to fund state wildlife agencies. And fourth, even if you don’t kill anything, hunting provides an opportunity for male bonding and friendships which is an important part of your overall happiness.

Fishing

Maybe the idea of killing a deer or bear isn’t your thing. You can still enjoy the benefits of providing your own food and getting outside with fishing. Fishing is an iconic man hobby. It’s a great way for friends to bond (See Grumpy Old Men) and father and sons to spend time with each other (See Andy Griffith). It doesn’t cost too much to get started with fishing. A decent pole and reel will set you back about fifty bones and lures and bait are just a few dollars. Every state in the U.S. requires fishers to get a fishing license before they drop their line into the water. Check your state’s game and fish department for costs of licenses and information on the best fishing spots.

Whittling

What if you want to start working with wood, but don’t have the money to get into real woodworking quite yet? Try whittling. All you need is a knife, a piece of soft wood, a rocking chair, a corn cob pipe, and most importantly, plenty of time. Whittling is one of those activities that can really help you relax and settle your mind after a hard day’s work. Stop by the library and pick up a book on whittling. You’ll find plenty of ideas and plans to help get you started.

Geocaching

Never grew out of your love for the game of hide and seek? Always wanted to go on a treasure hunt? Then the hobby of geocaching may be for you. People around the world hide objects or containers in all sorts of places and post the coordinates for the location online. People then go out with their GPS devices, seeking these well-hidden “treasures.” It’s a great way to get out of the house and explore parts of your town and area that you’ve never been to. For more info on geocaching and to find a list of geocaches in your area, go to geocaching.com.

Sports

Every man, whether nerd or meathead, should have some sort of physical activity in his life. The dichotomy between brains and brawn has always been a false one. Physical activity boosts your testosterone level (which men today really need since our T levels have been slowly dropping), keeps you healthy and in shape, staves off depression, and soothes your stress. Sports where a man’s competitive spirit can find outlet are particularly beneficial to one’s manliness. Tape part in pick-up games of football, basketball or soccer in your hometown, or form your own. I started playing weekly games of ultimate frisbee this year and absolutely love it. But solo activities-weight-lifting, running, bouldering-also have a lot of merit and allow you to space to think and get right with yourself. It doesn’t matter what the activity is as long as it gets the blood pumping and heart racing.

Model Building

Model building-building replicas of cars, planes, and ships-might have been something you enjoyed as a boy. But there’s no reason not to take up the hobby as a grown man. Model building helps you hone your eye for detail and will inspire you to learn more about the history of the things that you’re working on. Plus, you’ll end up with something cool to put in your office or man cave. Community Member Paul wrote up a great post about scale airplane modeling that is chock full of great tips and information.

Leatherworking

The smell of leather always brings out the frontiersman in a man; the part of him who loved the stories of Davy Crockett as a boy. Leatherworking is a great way to get in touch with your inner-cowboy and learn an uber-manly craft. A skilled leatherworker can make a variety of manly goods- wallets, leather pouches, belts, gun holsters, and saddles to name a few. The downside? This can be a pretty expensive hobby. You’ll need all sorts of special tools to really make a go of it. To get started, try buying a starter kit from the Tandy Leather Factory. They include everything you need to make small stuff like a wallet and key fob. That way you can gauge your interest before plunking down big time cash to get into bigger projects. Be sure to read this thread in the Community for more info and join the Leatherworkers Group.

Bowling

Fred Flintstone, Homer Simpson, Ralph Kramden, and the Dude. What do these iconic TV and movie men have in common? They bowled. During the 1950s, men flocked to bowling alleys to join league teams. It was a way for men to spend some time with other men, drink some beer, and smoke a cigar. The bowling alley became a refuge of masculinity in homes that were feminized by the constant presence of the stay-at-home mom. What’s great about bowling is that it’s a hobby you can share with your buds. Plus, it gives you an excuse to wear a kick ass, manly bowling shirt. So call up your buddies and put a team together.

Archery

While guns almost completely supplanted the bow and arrow in both hunting and self-protection, sometimes going back to the old ways can bring great satisfaction. A gun is to a sledge hammer as a bow and arrow is to a paintbrush. Archery allows you to connect with one of the most primitive of weapons; it works entirely on manpower. It’s the kind of quiet, repetitive, focused activity that can truly settle your mind. While the bow and arrow is rarely used for hunting anymore (although that’s certainly an option), great satisfaction can be found in target shooting, in training your skills to the point where you can hit an apple off someone’s head (metaphorically speaking, of course). Simple, beginner bows can be had for relatively cheap, so it’s a hobby you can start trying right away in your backyard (makes sure it’s a safe area!) There are also archery parks like this one, where 3-d targets that look like animals are scattered in the woods. Cool.

Letter Writing

We’ve discussed the benefits of rediscovering the lost art of letter writing before, so suffice it to say that writing letters in your spare time can be a very satisfying hobby. You can get into the cool tools of letter writing like fine stationery and fountain pens. Fire off a bunch of letters to friends and family. At least one will write you back and you can begin a lifetime correspondence with them. Or make your letter writing really count by using a program like Pen Pals for Soldiers. Soldiers love to receive mail, so take the time to write these brave men an encouraging note. Also take a look at something like the Bridge of Hope Nursing Home Pen Pal Program. Give a lonely senior citizen something to look forward to in their mail slot.

Martial Arts

There are a myriad of benefits to learning a martial art: gaining self-defense skills, building your discipline and focus, increasing your health, connecting with a manly tradition, and giving the warrior side of yourself an outlet. There are a ton of different martial arts out there-choosing one will come down to what you are personally looking for. Do a lot of research and shopping around to find the discipline and instructor that’s right for you. You may wish to go the MMA route and learn how to incorporate a variety of techniques into your fighting repertoire. And of course, boxing comes highly recommended. You can join with other martial artists in the AoM Community.

Hiking

Nothing beats a long hike to relax, get some fresh air, and rejuvenate your man spirit. What’s great about hiking is that in most cases it’s completely free. All you need is a pair of sturdy shoes or boots and a place to walk, be it some fields behind your house or a trail in a state park. Check out trails.com to find a hiking trail near you. There are always trails where you live, even in the flattest states-I should know- I’m from Oklahoma. You might just have to drive a little to get there.

Alcohol/Cigar/Pipe Smoking Connoisseur

You can walk into the store and grab whatever whisky you recognize or is cheapest. Or can you can become a bonafide whisky connoisseur, understanding why one whisky differs from another, where each brand comes from, and which you truly like. Things like whisky, beer, wine, cigars and pipe tobacco, can be things in which you become a true expert, a man who understands the subtleties that make each brand, each vintage unique. Not only can this heighten your pleasure in consuming such things, it can also help you meet others who share a similar interest and make you a desirable friend, the man who can mix the perfect martini and share his tips on the best cigar. Pick the thing that most calls to you and start reading books and blogs about it. Go down to the local tobacco shop and have the tobaccoist show you the ropes. And of course you need hands on study! Sip and smoke until you find the gems that leave you relaxed and smiling at the end of the day.

Photography

If you’ve always wanted to pick up an art, but don’t have the painter’s touch, try photography. With digital cameras and digital editing software becoming cheaper, photography as a hobby is more popular and accessible than ever. One benefit of photography as a hobby is that you can combine other interests with it. Love the outdoors? Snap some nature photos while on your hike. Are you an aficionado of classic diners? Take a picture of every diner you visit. A vibrant community of photographers exists online and many photo hobbyists have free sites dedicated to teaching photography. Check out Digital Photography School and Strobist to find out more info on how to get started with this hobby. And be sure to join the friendly and welcoming AoM PhotoGroup

Pool/Billiards

Every time I watch the The Hustler, I get the urge to walk into a smokey pool hall and become the master of the cue stick. Pool and billiards combines strategy, geometry, and oftentimes psychology in order to win. It’s also a great way to spend time and shoot the bull with your friends. If you can’t convince your wife that the game room won’t be complete without a pool table, try hitting up a pool hall or bowling alley to get your game on. A game costs a couple of bucks, more if you get hustled.

Mountaineering

If you’re into camping and hiking and are looking for a new challenge in the great outdoors, then look no further than mountaineering. Mountaineers, well, climb mountains. Why? Because it’s there of course! There are few things as satisfying in life as getting to the peak after a grueling climb, gazing out to a breathtaking view, and knowing that you just conquered the mountain. For some mountaineering tips, check out this good article by Adam Cook.

Cooking

We’ve said it again and again; every man should know how to cook. The benefits of knowing your way around a kitchen are legion-it gives you independence (no more relying on others to feed you), it saves you money over having to go out to eat or buy pre-packaged foods, it impresses the ladies, it helps you stay healthy (ever read the nutrition information for fast food?), and it’s just plain enjoyable. You’ve got to eat a few times every single dang day, so you might as well get some pleasure out of it. Plus it’s a cheap and accessible hobby to take up. You can get fancier foods and tools down the road, but with the basics already in your kitchen, some groceries, and a few cookbooks, you can send your HungryMan dinners packing.

Blacksmithing

If you think blacksmithing went extinct along with the horse and buggy, you’d be wrong. While very few men make their living these days by being a blacksmith, there are men who enjoy this craft as a hobby. For the cost of buying a nice camera to get into photography, you can take up this classic, manly and tradition-rich pursuit. Soon you’ll be building a fire in your forge and hammering away at a glowing piece of iron on your trusty anvil, just like Vulcan himself. See if a local blacksmith offers classes, as some do. Also check out this site for more info on what to expect from a class and this site to read about the experience of a middle-aged electrical engineer who took up blacksmithing as a hobby.

Flying

Some of history’s manliest men were those who conquered the skies- men like Charles Lindbergh, Chuck Yeager, and Wiley Post. You may not be setting any records, but you can still soar like an eagle. Of course, the biggest obstacle to taking up flying as a hobby is the cost. It’s expensive. Pilot lessons can run a couple thousand dollars and licensing is a few hundred. On top of that, you’ll need a plane. Some men combine their love of mechanical work with flying by building their own prop plane. But even so, you’ll need a place to store it, so you’ll probably have to pay a monthly rental feed for that as well. Despite the cost, many amateur pilots I know say it’s completely worth it just to feel that sense of pure freedom up in the air.

Magic

Every man should know at least a couple of good magic tricks to impress friends, woo ladies, and delight children. There are few hobbies as fun of the practice of magic; the pay off of having people beg you to reveal the secret will leave you with a lasting grin. Practicing a trick over and over again to make it absolutely smooth and seamless is the kind of work that doesn’t feel like work. And every man knows that the only kind of shopping that is fun is that which is done in a magic store. Finally, magic can become a new hobby for very cheap; all you really need to start is a good book of magic tricks and a deck of cards (a magic deck of cards never hurts either). You can keep working your way up to more and more complex tricks until you’re sawing your mother-in-law in half in the living room.

Learning a Foreign Language

There are few hobbies as unarguably useful as learning a foreign language. How many times have you been in a situation where you wished you could communicate with a server/student/parent/victim, but could not. And how much did you wish you could speak the native language the last time you traveled abroad? Learning a foreign language can be pretty difficult, but when you really think about it, the ability to speak two entirely different languages is pretty dang cool. Community colleges always offer language courses for a good price, or you can try an at-home method like Rosetta Stone. The key is to continually practice or you’ll never get better and retain what you’ve learned. Some libraries host weekly get togethers where people can come and practice speaking a foreign language with others. Watching movies and television and listening to music in the language you’re studying helps too.

Card Playing

From cribbage to poker to hearts, men like to play cards. The perfect social setting card playing creates-low key and relaxed but coupled with friendly competition-allows men to talk and hang out without it being forced. Get some cigars, have some guys over, and play for all the chips.

Blogging

Writing is a manly hobby in and of itself, of course. But blogging offers its own interesting twist on this timeless activity. A blog can be an outlet for sharing something you’re passionate and knowledgeable about with other people. You can meet people from all over the world that share your interest, and you can start great discussions and online friendships in that way. Or you can use your blog to update friends and family on the goings on in your life (moms love their kids’ blogs). Or you can use your blog as your personal journal, a permanent treasure trove of musings and photographs that you can look back on in the years to come. You can also use your blog to boost your professional career, network, and build your personal brand. No matter what reason you start a blog, it can also teach you a bit more tech savvy- how to upload pictures and videos, web design, online marketing and so on. It’s the kind of thing you may not understand the appeal of before you start, but becomes addicting once you get into it.

Paintball

Remember when you were a kid and you’d play war with your friends with imaginary grenades, bazookas, and bullets? Well, now that you’re a “big boy” you can play war, but this time with the experience of getting shot at with 100 mph paintballs. Trust me-it definitely adds to the excitement factor. Paintballing isn’t too expensive. For about $30 you can rent a gun, CO2 cartridge, safety mask, and enough ammo to last you most of the day at a paintball course. If you really get into paintballing you can always buy your own equipment and just pay for the cost of using a facility

Fencing

En garde! What do The Three Musketeers, Zorro, and Luke Skywalker have in common? Mad sword fighting skills, of course. A sport that has been around since ancient Greek and Roman times, this is a true gentleman’s pursuit. Take part in a tradition that the knights and lords of old were schooled in, a last vestige of proper dueling. Gain balance, coordination, flexibility and focus as you learn the ancient art of parrying with an opponent. There are three different types of weapons used in fencing-the foil, the sabre, and the épée. Each has a different weight and is used in conjunction with different rules. Do some research on what fencing is really like and watch a video of a match to understand what you are getting into; it is different than the movie version with the continual clashing of swords; much of it consists of bouncing around, carefully looking for an opening and an opportunity to thrust at the opponent.

Beer Brewing

It’s Saturday morning. Your favorite team is playing on College Game Day and you’ve invited your friends over. What sort of beverage will you provide? Sure, you could go to the grocery store and pick up a 12 pack of Miller High Life, but wouldn’t it be cooler, nay, even manlier, to offer a cold one that you brewed yourself? Well, you can once you get started with beer brewing as a hobby. Getting started with home brewing is cheap and easy. Trent at The Simple Dollar provides a step-by-step photo walk-through and cost breakdown of brewing your own beer. For $35 worth of ingredients and equipment Trent was able to brew seven six packs of beer. Not too shabby. Once you get familiar with the brewing process, you can start experimenting with the flavor of the beer and make your own limited edition beer that you can give as gifts to friends.

Drawing and Painting

Winston Churchill was an avid painter. He would spend hours in his garden or indoor studio painting while smoking his cigar. It was his way of keeping the black dog of depression at bay. He understood the healthy affect having a creative outlet can have on a man. Many men give up on art because they feel they have no inherent talent for it; this may be so, but classes and practice can make you a lot better. Drawing is the most accessible art to try. A few art pencils and a moleskine will keep you busy. Painting requires a bit more set up and cost depending on the type of painting you want to do. Watercolor painting is cheaper (and easier to clean up) than oil painting. Most hobby and art stores provide drawing and painting classes. If you’re too cheap for that, you can always watch the man with the greatest white-man fro in history, Mr. Bob Ross. He’ll teach you the Joys of Painting. That’s a happy little tree…

Amateur Astronomy

Space. The final frontier. While you might not be able to actually visit space, you can still get caught up in its awe and majesty right from your backyard. You’d be surprised what sorts of things you can see in space with a small telescope or even a pair of high powered binoculars. If you really want to see deep into space, you’ll need to get a high powered telescope which of course will set you back a thousand dollars or so. But the payoff may come when you spot something in your backyard observatory that even the big dogs at NASA haven’t caught; amateur astronomers have made several big discoveries. And remember that astronomy is more than just looking in a telescope; it’s also learning as much as you can about our wondrous universe from books, shows, and lectures.

Genealogy

Genealogy is a funny thing. It’s the kind of hobby that seems really boring from the outside. But once you get into it, it can totally grab hold of you and become something you love. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but how do you know what kind of apple you are, if you don’t know from whence you fell? Every man should know and understand his roots. You’ll understand more about why you are the way you are, and why your parents are the way they are and their parents and so on. You’ll come to a greater appreciation of the people who made your existence possible. Once you start building your family tree, you’ll be amazed at the long lines that lead to you. You’re not just an isolated man; you come from a very real lineage, and your ancestors are all a part of you in some way. Start building your family tree by talking to relatives that may have already started on it and by searching free sites like Family Search.

Adventure Races

Looking for a bigger challenge than running a 5k? Has doing a marathon become too cliche? Check out the world of adventure racing. Adventure races last all day and incorporate a variety of activities; you may have to run/hike for 10 miles, paddle a kayak down a river for 10 miles, and then mountain bike through a forest for 20 miles. And along the way you have to stop at checkpoints which can only be found by using a map and a compass. Physical activity+the great outdoors+orienteering=very manly. Check out the United States Adventure Racing Association to find an event in your area.

Knitting

Knitting? Knitting?! The thing that your grandma adores and your great aunt uses to make you a scarf for Christmas? Yes, knitting. Far from the sissy activity that many think it to be, men invented knitting, and it’s time we reclaim our place in its history. Men were the first professional knitters, plying their trade in Europe during the 16th century. And sailors were the other original knitters. They would make fishing nets and sweaters to keep them warm. These days, knitting for men is making a comeback; it’s both useful and relaxing. My good friend Cameron learned to knit while on a mission in Bolivia ,and he was the only man in the knitting club at law school. And his manliness is unassailable. Be sure to watch this video about knitting and men and join your knitting brothers at Men Who Knit.

Computer Programming

What ham radio was in the 1950s, computer programming is today. While women are making advances in the area, coding has traditionally been a male pastime. Many men have made computer programming their living, but there are millions more who have day jobs but pound out code in their spare time just for kicks and giggles. These are the people who make silly online games, useful open source apps, and cool web projects. There’s a variety of code languages you can learn. Personally, I’m fond of web programming and have found W3Schools a great resource to learn PHP, SQL, and CSS completely for free.

Inspired to take up a new hobby? Remember, starting out is always the fun and exciting part. But getting good is never as easy as you think it will be. You’re going to hit bumps in the road. Don’t make your new hobby another things you drop by the wayside and let gather dust in your closet. Good luck!