Sunday, January 15, 2006

A Better View


Okay, a note of explanation for my dear daughter Tiff and the rest of the world. For the past 46 years that I have been roaming this planet, I have learned a couple of things:
1. There are very few absolutes. When someone says the word “Always” or “Never”, I tend to dismiss them. Years ago my Mom taught me this lesson. Sort of like the sentence, “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate.”
2. Stay true to your values. If you wander away from them, turn around and run, no sprint back to your values. Your own values is one of the few things that make you distinctly, YOU.
3. Know what your priorities are, so that when opportunities for change come up, you can decide with your head and your heart.
4. God does not leave us or forsake us. We are the ones that leave. And He always welcomes us back. This is one of the few absolutes in life.
5. Listen to your spouse and others whom you love and love you. Even if you totally disagree with what they say or what they believe, there is so much to learn from each other and there is a reason for what they are saying and believing. Listen not just for the words, but also the belief and passions behind those words.
6. Forgive. Yourself and others too.
7. And, Always be a student of Life.

My last posting detailed the quick decision that was made to move from our home to another house a couple miles away. In five days we went from my wife checking out an open house on her way home, to our offer on that house being accepted. We did not tell anyone in our family until the 4th day, because we did not want to send out any false alarms.

It was only a few weeks ago, that Kathy told me she wanted a “better view”. Our discussion became very passionate in that I bought this house as my final home (see # 1 above) and in the 4 years we have lived here, all the upgrades and personalization’s that Kathy and I made were for our pleasure, not for resale value. We have:
• Re-carpeted the living room.
• Painted/wallpapered 7 out of 10 rooms plus the hallway.
• Added central air.
• Painted the exterior.
• Added to the driveway to create another parking space.
• Added a hot tub.
• Built a brick patio.
• Added an outside storage building.
• Planted another flower garden.
• Built a privacy fence.
• Built a front mini-deck.
• Numerous furniture changes…. Well, you get the picture.

So I was shocked and upset when I was first informed that she wanted to live somewhere else. That weekend was not a happy one.

In the days and weeks after that weekend, I continued to listen (see #5), and we talked, I thought and well, had to decide what was most important (#3). That is what was going on behind the scenes that lead up to last week. So while our original intent was to make Blackhawk our final resting place, this new home may be our final house. And we are both happy and excited about it! (and yes, I love my wife, very, very much!!)

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