Video Time: Rocketman

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Stop the Stupid Stuff

I have friends that do not believe in God, only in evolution.

No matter what your belief structure is, we all screw up every once in awhile. The key is to learn from those mistakes. You can call it evolving, or growing, maturing, or whatever, but some folks seem to continue doing the really stupid stuff over and over again. As someone once said, practice doesn't make perfect, if what you are practicing is wrong.

The DLM Blog featured this helpful guide to breaking the bad and moving forward towards good:

Dumb Little Man - tips for life

The Only Way You Should Ever Repeat Your Mistakes

Posted: 01 May 2009 06:00 AM PDT

Do you ever make mistakes? Stupid question – of course you do; we all do. And I’d bet good money that sometimes you’ve made a mistake over, and over, and over again.

Making a mistake once is fine - just part of the learning process. But if you fail to learn from it, you’ll just end up wasting valuable energy, time and quite possibly money on exactly the same mistakes in future. And that’s going to seriously bug you.

Here’s an example. Maybe you once made the mistake of hitting snooze on your alarm clock, falling back to sleep, and eventually waking up seriously late – having to skip breakfast, skip showering, and rush like a madman to work. If you do that once, it’s no biggie; if you repeat the same mistake every week – or worse, every morning – you’re going to have some serious problems.

Or how about a less dramatic, but just as insidious example. You’re determined to get fit, so you start on a great exercise regime that you’ve heard delivers dramatic results and is based on the army’s practices. Only, you’re so exhausted after your first attempt, you can’t face doing it again. So you go back to your usual couch-potato lifestyle, until your next over-enthusiastic and short-lived attempt at an exercise program...

So how can you break the pattern, and make sure that you don’t keep repeating your mistakes? Well, one way is to repeat them in a slightly different way – in writing. Sounds crazy? Read on to find out how to do it and why it works.

Write Down What Went Wrong
Okay, so you’ve made a mistake. Your presentation at work was a complete mess. Your diet failed after two days. You and your partner had an enormous fight over nothing. You lost your wallet and had to go through the hassle of canceling all your cards. You got an F on your term paper.

Once you’ve sorted out the immediate aftermath of your mistake, sit down somewhere quiet with a pen and paper. (I like to do this sort of writing away from the distractions of a computer screen.) Set down what went wrong. Keep it really simple, and don’t think about excuses or reasons at this stage.

• I fluffed my presentation, or...
  
• I got an F, or...
  
• I had an argument with my best friend

Figure Out The Causes
Now you’ve got to the core of the mistake, start thinking about why it happened. There’s a cause for everything, and often a series of causes. For example, if you got an F on your term paper, the causes might be one or more of:

• I didn’t start studying early enough
  
• I didn’t devote enough time to studying
  
• I studied the wrong topics
  
• I didn’t practice my exam technique
  
• I panicked and froze during the exam
  
• I didn’t sleep well the night before the exam

If you fluffed a big presentation at work, perhaps the causes are:

• I didn’t give myself enough time to prepare
  
• I didn’t practice beforehand
  
• I felt very nervous
  
• I spoke too fast

Don’t get judgmental, just set down on paper what led to the mistake. This isn’t a chance for you to kick yourself and call yourself an idiot: there’s nothing stupid about making mistakes. (Think of a kid learning to walk, or to talk; they make thousands of mistakes and they just keep on going!)

Decide What You'll Do Differently
Now you’ve looked at the causes of your mistake, all you need to do is to figure out how to zap those causes out of the equation for next time. Write down “Next time, I’m going to...”

Here are some ideas from the examples above.

Next time I have an exam, I’m going to...

• Start studying five weeks beforehand
  
• Check with my professor about the topics that I need to cover
  
• Practice writing answers to exam questions from last year

Next time I have to give a presentation, I’m going to...

• Prepare it well in advance
  
• Practice ahead of time, asking a colleague for feedback
  
• Try different ways of calming my nerves (e.g. breathing techniques)

Why Writing It Down Works
So why do you need to put all of this in writing? The first and most straightforward reason is because writing helps you to remember things. If you just think about the changes you want to make, what’re the chances that you’ll have forgotten all about it by the time your next exam, report, fitness attempt, or diet comes around? You wouldn’t try to keep your diary for the year in your head – so don’t keep other important information there too. Write it down, and you can always refer back to it to jog your memory.

Secondly, writing can seriously help your thought process. This does depend a bit on how your brain’s wired – some of us find it easier to think things through by talking about them, or by doing something with our hands. But most people do get a boost from writing: the process of putting thoughts into words helps you to get greater clarity about them.

And thirdly, the act of writing something down makes you feel more accountable – you’re more likely to do it. Many studies have shown that people who write down their goals are more likely to succeed than those who don’t. And avoiding wasting precious time, energy and money on repeating your mistakes is definitely a worthy goal to have.

What mistakes have you made in the past – big or small? Are there any mistakes which you constantly repeat? Have you ever tried writing about your mistakes, analysing the causes and what you could do differently in future?

Written on 3/17/2009 by Ali Hale.Ali is a professional writer and blogger, and a part-time postgraduate student of creative writing. If you need a hand with any sort of written project, drop her a line (ali@aliventures.com) or check out her website at Aliventures.

Photo Credit: msmail

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Video Time: The Alternative to an I-Pod

Yeah, right...

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Video Time: Sid & Nan

Step back in time when Television was limited to three networks and live tv was truely live:

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Spring Cleaning

Yesterday I took the lawnmower to the backyard and turned it loose. Well, I had to push it, so it wasn't too crazy, but I learned with just this mulching mower, I can clean up our yard and make it look pretty sweet.

But what about the inside? DLM posted this recently:

Dumb Little Man - tips for life

The Super Easy Approach to Decluttering your Home

Posted: 02 May 2009 06:40 AM PDT

Here I am getting ready to relax on a Saturday and watch the Cubs' game. To my dismay, my plan was foiled early. My wife woke up that morning inspired and determined to declutter. I can't complain, she rarely gets the initiative to do things like this. I painfully listened to this master plan and eventually gave in.

All-in-all this was a great exercise. Although I was very skeptical, I came to terms with the fact that I simply wasn't going to use any of this stuff ever again. I mean, my waist is a size 34" so my old jean shorts with a 30" waist were probably not going to be any more useful than the old GW BASIC manuals I found.

Now that we're cleaned out, the trick will be to stay uncluttered. So let's look at both sides: what to get rid of and how to keep clutter from piling up in the first place.

First, let's unclutter. I am not indicating that you have to get rid of this stuff, this is just a sample of what I did. Maybe it will give you an idea or two.

• It's worth nothing
  The first thing to hit the donation pile was my Atari 2600, Nintendo, and Super Nintendo. Along with all the games I had, it was probably 30 lbs of useless scrap. Before you say it was worth something, know that I routinely beat the heck out of these machines when I'd lose games (it was a long time ago, I'm not violent!). They were all pretty banged up and they have been sitting in the same spot for 10 years collecting dust!


• Old School
  My 1993-2003 wardrobe - I have no idea why I kept it this long. However, I am pretty sure that I am not going to toss on a Miami Vice/Don Johnson outfit anytime soon. If you haven't worn the clothes in the last year, it may be safe to get rid of them. The funniest part about this is that I had these old clothes jammed into the same closet with the clothes I wear today. All this did was make getting dressed each morning a battle to pull something from the closet. Now that the old stuff is gone, all I have hanging up are things I really do wear.


• Ex-Girlfriends
  Maybe I am a romantic but for some reason I held onto a huge box full of photos and memorabilia from my ex-girlfriends. Pictures, cards, old high school prom trinkets, etc. Listen, memories are great but when you get married or even if you are a single and in your twenties, consider dumping some of this stuff. I personally found no reason to keep any of it. It's not as if I grab a bottle of Jack and reminisce about the 'old days'. If I ever need to, I am sure my parents have plenty of pictures for me.


• Old Data
  While I did have a ton of old cassette tapes and term papers, the data I am talking about here is user's manuals. Believe it or not, I still had MS-DOS manuals. Keep in mind, this was before digital anything so a DOS manual was easily 7 inches thick, in a binder, and a boring read. I even found a manual for GW Basic and the 18 install floppies for WordPerfect 3.1.


• Old PCs
  If I had old manuals for DOS, you had to believe I had old PCs, keyboards, monitors, etc. Even though my iPod has more memory than those PCs, I donated them. If that wasn't bad enough, I still had the boxes these PCs came in.


• Hogan
  Yes, at one point in my life I was a workout nut. Until last weekend, I kept a collection of close to 300 lbs of free weights, a full bench, bars, etc. Do you know how much room that took up? The spider webs alone weighed 15 lbs. These went to Play it Again Sports so I could at least collect some cash when they sell.


• Broken stuff
  I had all sorts of things from broken coffee makers, to TVs, to lawn mowers. I saved all of these things because I believed that one day, I'd use the parts for something. Come on, let's get real. I am not Mr. Fix-it and I am not about to write an Instructable.


• Old Bills
  Do you know that I had water bills from 1995? That's just foolish. I shredded a ton of old paperwork - everything from bills to loan applications. Before you go nuts, you should read up on what you need to retain.

So there are a few things to look out for. If you don't want to toss it in the garbage, and you can hit up the usual suspects if you want to sell some of this stuff (ebay, craiglist).

Next I'll explain how we did it and how we intend to prevent a mass decluttering in the future. It may seem basic and I thought so too. However, if it's so simple, why are we surrounded by junk?

• Skimming Rooms
  Don't skim. When you walk into a room with the intention of decluttering, seriously look in every drawer and closet - empty them all out and consider every item. Heck, look under the bed too! If you see something that has no sentimental value and hasn't been used in a year, get rid of it.


• Shredding
  We shred close to everything that comes in the mail. However, this becomes a chore when you receive 58 credit card offers each week, insurance quotes, etc. At the end of any given week, set aside time to shred. On occasion, I have actually thrown all of this garbage in the fireplace and burned it. I don't care what you do, just don't let it build up to the point of having to invest 3 hours on a Saturday shredding.


• Slow down
  We didn't declutter the house in 2 hours, this was a full days work. Take your time and concentrate on one room at a time. Get rid of old magazines, blankets, winter coats, and anything that you honestly don't think will have any value in a year.


• When the time changes
  They (not sure who they is) say that you should change your smoke detector batteries every time the time changes to/from Daylight savings. That is our new declutter indicator as well. Twice a year, we're going room-to-room and getting rid of stuff.


• Purchases and Freebies
  When you are pacing through Target, resist the urge to buy that picture frame that's 40% off. If you have a real need for it, fine, but accumulating 'stuff' just because you got a deal is going to lead to clutter. We are going to try to get rid of 1 item for every new item we purchase. This will admittedly be tough.


• Magazines When you get new phone books or magazines, recycle the old ones. This is so simple but I somehow ended up with a stack of old Business Week, Maxim, and Sports Illustrated magazines. Most were found in the drawers of the nightstand and in bathroom cabinets.


• Gifts
  We all get birthday or holiday gifts that we don't want. Don't just toss them in a closet somewhere. Either re-gift them or toss them on Freecycle.


• Train your Kids
  This has worked wonderfully. Each time my kids ask for a new toy, I simply ask them which old toy they want to donate to charity. When we get home from the store, we pick up the old toy and put it in the car so we can drop it off at a Salvation Army drop box. Not only are they learning to donate, they are not contributing to the clutter problem.


• Touch it once
  This is almost a time trick but it really applies to clutter as well. When you grab a screwdriver for example, use it and put it back in its correct spot when you are done. I was in the habit of tossing it on the kitchen counter and ultimately it ended up in the junk drawer along with a ton of other miscellaneous items.

If you've found a tactic working for you, let me know in the comments. This is a tough battle and it's very easy to accumulate garbage because you're sentimental or 'think you'll need it later'. If you aren't going to use something in the next year, do you really need it?

Originally written in 2007 by me, Jay White, the founder of Dumb Little Man and an all around average guy. Each Saturday I grab an old article, update it, and share it all over again. This article was republished on 5/02/09.

Photo Credit: Aine D

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I hate Budgeting

so let's call it something else... from the DLM Blog:

How To Be Frugal Without Being Miserable

Posted: 30 Apr 2009 06:23 AM PDT

With the recession biting deep, most of us are taking a long hard look at our spending. We’re staying in, buying fewer luxuries, and avoiding “treating ourselves” to things that, a couple of years ago, we wouldn’t have thought twice about.

Many people believe that being frugal equates to being miserable. But cutting down your spending doesn’t need to be painful. It’s simply a case of figuring out where you can make changes that don’t impact (much) on the fun that you’re having.

Here are four steps to being frugal without being miserable:

Figure Out What Matters To You...
Some things might be an expense you could cut, but if they’re giving you a lot of enjoyment, don’t be too quick to cut them out completely.

For example, if you really enjoy a few drinks after work on a Friday night, don’t force yourself to stick to soda all evening. If you end up feeling resentful about saving money, you’re more likely to blow it on an unnecessary purchase.

Or if your buy a couple of magazines every week, and enjoy the “me time” spent reading them cover to cover, decide whether you really want to give up that pleasure for a few dollars extra in your pocket.

Note this is what matters to you ... not what your partner, parents or colleagues think is worth your money. If you couldn’t care less about an expensive haircut, don’t get one just because everyone else at work does.

...And What Doesn’t Matter
Once you’ve figured out where your spending really does improve your quality of life, figure out where it doesn’t. Maybe you always buy brand-name groceries out of habit ... can you actually tell the difference if you switch to generic ones? (You could save about a third of your grocery bill each week.)

If you always grab a coffee and muffin on the way to work, is it really a treat or just a habit? Try eating breakfast at home instead, and making the coffee-and-muffin trip a once-a-week event. You might be surprised to find that you get a lot more enjoyment out of it.

About two mornings a month, I take my laptop to a local coffee shop that I adore, pick up a tasty morning treat and a cup of coffee, and sit here in this pleasant environment writing for a few hours. I enjoy it. It feels like a real perk to me and I leave feeling as though my time and money were well spent.

Several years ago, I made a daily stop at a coffee shop for breakfast. I’d sit in there each and every morning, drop $7 on a breakfast sandwich, a cup of coffee, and a paper, and read it without much real joy. It was my routine. It wasn’t joyful - it was just the way I started my day.

Trent, “Splurges, Habits and Projection”, on The Simple Dollar

Find Money-Free Ways to Have Fun
Socializing doesn’t have to cost you a dime. Instead of going out for a meal or to a club with friends, why not have them round for an evening in? If you ask everyone to bring snacks and drinks, it won’t cost you anything.

Instead of taking the kids to an expensive theme park at the weekend, why not grab a ball or a kite and head to the local park? Younger children in particular are often thrilled with very simple activities. Don’t buy into the commercial hype that suggests you need to spend a lot in order to bring up your kids well: your time, attention and love is much more valuable to them than your money.

Don’t Let Frugality Become An Obsession
A bit like people who get obsessed with life-hackery, some people can become obsessed with being frugal. Be careful that you don’t end up going to a huge amount of inconvenience and spending a lot of time just to save a couple of dollars. Sometimes, you may need to settle for the not-so-great deal at your local store, rather than heading miles to somewhere that has better offers on.

A good way to assess whether an action is “worth it” to you is to work out how long it takes and what your effective hourly rate of savings would be. For example, if it takes you two hours to go through all the coupons, vouchers and other offers that you’ve found – and you end up saving a grand total of $10 – that’s $5/hour. At that rate, you’d be better off ditching the coupons and vouchers, and taking up a McJob instead!

Are you trying to be more frugal? Do you feel that it’s making your life better, or worse? What tips do you have for being frugal without being miserable?

Written on 4/30/2009 by Ali Hale. Ali is a professional writer and blogger, and a part-time postgraduate student of creative writing. If you need a hand with any sort of written project, drop her a line (ali@aliventures.com) or check out her website at Aliventures.

Photo Credit: beltzner

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A Salute to My Uncle Carl

This time of year reminds me of my late Uncle Carl. This shot was taken 6 years ago when they were visiting friends during Derby weekend. My Uncle Carl was the youngest of 4 on my Dad's side of the family, all that is left is the oldest brother, my Uncle Dean.

Carl was famous for his practical jokes, his sense of humor and his faith. He actually lived a couple years longer than the doctors predicted with some serious health problems. My favorite story that he told me about 7 years ago was how he became a one eyed helicopter pilot. Back in his day, to become a pilot they had to take a vision test that included reading an eye chart.

So, he took his hand and covered his eye and read the chart perfectly. However he was blind in the other eye. When the military doc told him to read the chart with his other eye, he lowered his hand and put his other hand up covering the same eye and passed the test! A few months later, he did it again and got his helicopter pilots licence!

Thanks Uncle Carl for being a part of our lives!

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